So I spent the afternoon with kids making cookies.
No I didn’t. I spent the afternoon making bakies. They’re bakies I tell you. Not cookies. If someone told you they were cookies, they lied to you. If you thought you made cookies, well you didn’t. If you bought some cookies, you got ripped off and you should ask for your money back. You should be mad as all crumb at the world for spoofing you into participating in this foolish prank. Cookies? You still want to call them cookies? Unfortunately, you are a victim of incorrect thinking. Let me set you proper.
Cooking happens on the top of your oven, on the top of your range. Imagine cooking chicken soup, macaroni noodles, a bok choi stir-fry, grilled cheese sandwiches, mushroom and Swiss cheese burgers, or even Reuben sandwiches to name a few. These foods are cooked in pots, pans or skillets on TOP of the stove, they are COOKED.
Baking happens inside of the oven, inside behind the door with the window. Imagine baking meatball lasagna, chili con carne corn bread muffins, angel food cake, double chocolate brownies, or an Idaho baked potato for cheese’s sake. These foods are baked in pans, tins, and cups INSIDE of the oven, they are BAKED.
Proceed to your local grocery mall and pick up some of that already made dough that comes in a roll so you can slice it up and apply a dry heat to it in your oven for a dessert type snack. What would you put it on? You’d put it on one of those flat things that go in the oven with food on them, some kind of a sheet thing it’s named. Hold that roll of dough in one hand and go to your favorite house wares retailer. Look for the aisle where you can purchase one of those fangled sheets. Now, with your free hand pick up one of the aluminum sheets, the no stick sheets or the silicone sheets, whichever floats your boat. With that sheet in your hand ask yourself “What section of the store am I in?” You are in the “bake ware” section. You should be standing proudly in house wares in front of things you use to BAKE. Outside of the very center of your gaze you may see Belgian waffle irons, automatic drip coffee brewers, two temperature removable-crock slow cookers, multi function multi speed food processors, toasters for bagels and sliced bread all in the same appliance, blocks of bone breaking cutlery and if you’re lucky the cast iron skillets. Ignore all of those things in your peripheral. Concentrate on the baking sheet and the dough, the matter at hand.
What do you do with that dough? You bake it in the oven on a baking sheet. For all that is right in the world you bake it in the oven on a baking sheet. They are not cookies. They are bakies!
Cooking happens on the top of your oven, on the top of your range. Imagine cooking chicken soup, macaroni noodles, a bok choi stir-fry, grilled cheese sandwiches, mushroom and Swiss cheese burgers, or even Reuben sandwiches to name a few. These foods are cooked in pots, pans or skillets on TOP of the stove, they are COOKED.
Baking happens inside of the oven, inside behind the door with the window. Imagine baking meatball lasagna, chili con carne corn bread muffins, angel food cake, double chocolate brownies, or an Idaho baked potato for cheese’s sake. These foods are baked in pans, tins, and cups INSIDE of the oven, they are BAKED.
Proceed to your local grocery mall and pick up some of that already made dough that comes in a roll so you can slice it up and apply a dry heat to it in your oven for a dessert type snack. What would you put it on? You’d put it on one of those flat things that go in the oven with food on them, some kind of a sheet thing it’s named. Hold that roll of dough in one hand and go to your favorite house wares retailer. Look for the aisle where you can purchase one of those fangled sheets. Now, with your free hand pick up one of the aluminum sheets, the no stick sheets or the silicone sheets, whichever floats your boat. With that sheet in your hand ask yourself “What section of the store am I in?” You are in the “bake ware” section. You should be standing proudly in house wares in front of things you use to BAKE. Outside of the very center of your gaze you may see Belgian waffle irons, automatic drip coffee brewers, two temperature removable-crock slow cookers, multi function multi speed food processors, toasters for bagels and sliced bread all in the same appliance, blocks of bone breaking cutlery and if you’re lucky the cast iron skillets. Ignore all of those things in your peripheral. Concentrate on the baking sheet and the dough, the matter at hand.
What do you do with that dough? You bake it in the oven on a baking sheet. For all that is right in the world you bake it in the oven on a baking sheet. They are not cookies. They are bakies!
They are bakies and that’s the way your reality crumbles.
